anger management
Our anger has a lot more to do with what is happening within us than about whatever seems to be causing us to experience it. Of course it varies in intensity and can be triggered both by external events, like an annoying person or situation, or by internal ones, such as us brooding over a personal problem. Like hate, anger can be a more manageable way for us to cope with some of our difficult underlying feelings – probably even nature’s way of protecting us from them.
effects of excess anger
Are you often tense, irritable of frustrated? Do you feel (or fear) being out of control when you get angry? Are you constantly gossiping or complaining? Do you frequently feel hurt or resentful about the way you’re being treated? Do you sometimes hurt others, especially those you care about? Do you put other people down, get abusive towards them or end up regretting some of the things you have said? Do you sometimes take out your emotions on something other than the person or situation that is really bothering you; or have you physically lashed out when you’re angry? (Have you, for example, perhaps hit someone or broken something?) Have you lost, or are you in fear of losing, someone or something important to you? Has your anger got you into trouble with the law? Do you use alcohol or other substances to try to calm your emotions? Has anyone ever expressed concern about your anger?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you are probably displaying symptoms of anger and have some issues that should really be dealt with. Reclaiming control of both your emotions and the way you respond to events could impact on almost every aspect of your life, including your relationships, your career, your effectiveness as a person and on your very ability to enjoy life.
express it, suppress it or calm it?
Anger forms part of our fight-or-flight mechanism, instinctively causing us to respond with aggression to certain situations. It is, however, best for us to not lose control, as doing so only has the effect of escalating both our aggression and the anger itself. It is also not really good for us to suppress our anger. Turning it inward can have severe long-term health implications, often resulting in conditions such as hypertension, high blood pressure or depression.
It is healthy to respond in a non-aggressive yet assertive way, but to be able to do this effectively, we need to be clear about our needs and how we may get them met without having to hurt others. Being assertive doesn't usually mean being pushy or demanding (let alone violent), but rather being respectful, both of ourselves and of others.
help
I now offer a six-session, personalised anger-management workshop in which I work on a one-to-one basis with my clients. We deal with the underlying causes of their anger, their ability to be assertive and their response to testy situations. Fortunately, each of us has a surprising ability to calm ourselves and to not only control our outward behaviour but also our internal responses. We can heal our underlying pain, learn to let our feelings subside and adopt helpful strategies to manage our emotions.
Use this link to view my fees page, or this link to make a time to see me. (I do, of course, understand that it is important for you to find the right person to work with, so feel safe in the knowledge that I won’t charge you for your first visit if, by the end of it, you decide that my way of working is not quite right for you.) Should you have any questions, or should you just wish to speak to me about this (or anything else), please feel free to send me an e-mail or to just call me on 020 7734 4000.
Do not let anger continue to eat away at you!
